The Last One

Dear family and friends,

ere we go, the letter I NEVER wanted to come. President, there are so many things that have been buzzing around my mind for the last few days but I have found there are two motifs. Love and gratitude. Still trying to do the whole pretend this isn't real type thing (not a big fan of change), my mind can't believe this is happening but it seems like my heart does because I pretty much always have a knot in my throat no matter what I am doing or thinking about but thus far I have been doing a pretty good job at just letting a few tears slip out anymore than that I think I would just lose it. I get frustrated that it's so hard but deep down I know that I wouldn't want it any other way. To be honest, I guess I'm glad this is so difficult because it means that I really have been able to give a part of my heart to these people. Just like my dad said on our ride to the airport, there would be people that at that point I didn't even know existed that I would end up loving like family. Those words couldn't be truer. I have felt the love of God for the people in Valencia, Barcelona, and Sabadell tan fuerte que nunca jamás podré negar que tengo un Padre Celestial. But I'll leave the sentimental stuff until a little later on, I can't make this whole last email like an obituary.

First off: to those of you that have seen my Zumba video on facebook I can explain. So I think I have told you that one of the ways we have been able to get a lot of investigators and less actives fellowshipped by the members and into the capilla is a weekly activity that we do on Saturdays, Zumba. It's not really zumba because obviously we keep it clean, it's more like aerobics with music. It's been a great thing and we have seen baptisms and re activations by breaking the ice with this activity. Not to mention the bishop's wife and a couple of recently reactivated members teach the dances so it's been super great. Anyway, there are a few dances that the instructors have taught in the past but have a hard time remembering so they asked me to do them so they could record and review them, and Dubi (a YSA in my ward) loves Clap Your Hands so she hopped in, had someone record it, and put in on facebook (which I JUST found out about, SO EMBARRASSING)

Second off:....actually that's the only non sentimental thing I really had to say. Nothing is really on my mind lately except for how much I have loved my mission, how much I love these people, and how sad I am to leave. I know it's time and I'm sure as soon as I get on (or maybe off) the plane the excitement will hit on but right now it's a little hard. I feel SOOO blessed to have been able to live a year and a half of my life here in Spain. Everyone here and at home knows how badly I don't want to leave my mission, I have been praying a lot to have peace of mind about it. The other day I was reading a talk by Elder Edward Dube and he said we are to look forward and not back, he then quoted an apostle and said "the past is to be learned from but not lived in" I have learned so much from this past year and a half and I have finally decided that this anxious feeling about ending this great journey is God's way of telling me that He still needs me as a missionary, maybe not with a chapa but as a member. I've come to realize that the mission isn't this great thing that we prepare our whole lives to do and then once the sacrifice is over we just sit back and reap the benefits, but rather it is a preparation. It is so that  we, as the youth and future of the church, can receive and strengthen our testimonies, deepen our conversation, and learn how to share the gospel and teach others so that we, for the rest of our lives and in the spirit world can help our brothers and sisters feel the love and peace we feel.

Nos vemos! Os quiero!

Hermana Tuttle

P.S. I'd send pictures but Dubi puts pretty much everything on facebook so I'm not worried about you forgetting what I look like :)

... freaking out ... nbd

...I'm freaking out....moving on....

Dear everyone,

So this week has been great. As I told you I got a new companion and she is the greatest. The three of us are having an absolute blast! The other day we made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, ravioli, and chocolate milk it was our "going back to elementary school days." On Saturday after zumba we had just mopped the church and were waiting for it to dry so we could put down the chairs and in our attempt to make it dry faster (and to have a little fun) we had a sliding war. We are working so hard and seeing more miracles than we can say but we are also having a blast. I've learned that if you aren't having fun as a missionary (obviously within the limits of obedience) you aren't serving to your greatest potential. I look back on this time (and forward to the time I still have, I'm not dead) and this really is the greatest year and a half. I've had the best companions and the streak continues with Hermana Masters.

A couple of miracles: This week an Elder called telling me that a woman had called them asking for me, he gave me her number but didn't know her name. When I called the number it was Yuli!!!! My recent convert/ MIRACLE baptism from december. She called saying that she was in Sabadell Nord and that she didn't know how to get to the church (I think she thinks I live at the church) luckily our visit had just fired so we went to pick her up. It was AMAZING to see her again. She said she thought I was ending in July so 20 days ago she came down from France and all she knew was that I was in Sabadell so she walked from the Sabadell South station to the Sabadell Center station asking everyone if they knew where the mormon chapel was. (we live in Sabadell Nord and the chapel is even further north). She walked around from 8 am to 2 pm and never found out anything so she headed back to France absolutely heartbroken she said. Then she somehow got the elders phone number and we found each other. She just bawled. It was a beautiful moment. I got to share a message with her and she said the prayer she cried and just thanked God that she finally found me before I left. She came all the way down from France to see me and wow was that a humbling experience. I'm so grateful I got to be a part of her life for that short time, an instrument in His hands.

Another miracle but I'm going to try to keep these last two short because I'm out of time

Harold and Jon Carlos: two investigators (14 and 17): we went over to visit them the other night and they had two friends over. Between the four of these teenagers there were 2 testigos, 1 atheist, and 1 muslim. In the back of my mind I thought, these teenagers are going to be so bugged we are here when they are obviously just counting down the minutes until we leave so they can watch the fútbol game so we said we would just share a quick message. We were wrapping it up but then I felt to ask if they had any questions they said no but then I felt to push it a little more and so I said that it could be about anything. They began to ask a bunch of questions about the Plan of Salvation so we taught it to them and they were so captivated. They had some questions about Joseph Smith so we told them we will come by another day and teach the Restoration to all 4 of them. Woot Woot!

Lastly: Saturday night we only had 7 member present lessons and 3 news. Our goals were 12 and 6 (respectively). All of our visits fired on us and all of the people who normally come with us were going to be busy Sunday but we knew we needed to splits if we wanted to get 5 lessons and 3 news in one day. Anyway, long story short we saw miracle after miracle. Joan Pau went with my companions and Karen came with me. Karen and I saw miracle after miracle as we talked with EVERYONE and passed by people. We had 5 lessons, found 3 news and found a member who was baptized in Chile about 20 years ago but left the church shortly after, we found another investigator who desperately needed our help and we sang Nearer My God to Thee to a blind woman and people all over the big park just stopped and looked at us. It was beautiful. The others had 3 lessons which means we not only met but exceeded our goals. It was beautiful.

I am happy, I'm finally getting over being sick, and the pinky toe I jammed in a door has finally stopped bleeding...soo....basically life rocks. I love you all!!!

Hermana Tuttle

Time's a Flyin

Dear friends and family,

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Jolin (pronounced Holeen) I can't believe how fast time is flying. As always I'm doing absolutely amazing! We are seeing miracle after miracle here, people are being prepared left and right and it just breaks my heart a little bit to think that I won't be able to see a lot of these people on their special day but so relieved to know that I am leaving this area so strong to two absolutely amazing missionaries. Which leads to me to the first bit of news:

Hermana Masters- For my final two weeks I will be in a trio with Hermana Ward and Hermana Masters. She is as sweet as they come. I probably sound like a broken record or that I need to expand my vocabulary because I use the same adjective with every companion but it's so true all of my companions are so sweet. She's from California, she's been in the mission 6 months, she is just leaving her first area Castellón (near Valencia) with none other than Herman Durham! Oh how I love all of my companions. You get so close to them and then it's so hard to say goodbye and to go so long without seeing them...new goal: go a whole email without saying "so," I am so American.

Okay so basically we are just teaching a bunch of amazing people! Harold who is the cutest little 8 year old gypsy, he has had a really rough life, he's never met his mom because she is a drug addict and just abandoned him when he was born three months premature and his dad has been in prison his whole life so he lives with his grandparents who are so sweet and so humble. We met him through another family we are teaching and then a few days later when we saw him and his mom on the street he introduced us to his mom and said "these are my new friends I was telling you about" the mom could not stop thanking us and told us that Harold loved the lesson and has told her he would like to be baptized.

Then there's Mireya who I talked about a few weeks ago, well we had another amazing lesson with her and she now has a baptismal date for the end of this month. When we started talking about life after death she began to cry, she has so many people dear to her that have passed away and I'm so grateful that we get to help her realize that the seperation is only temporary.

Another person: Rosi, I felt like I needed to contact her the other day, she was sitting on a bench and then last night we had a lesson with her (Joan Pau came with us) and it was perfect she wants to come to all of the activities and we have another visit with her today, she had all of the right questions and concerns and it was just perfect.

That leads me into my last thing I want to talk about that is: the miracle of Joan Pau. He coming on some visits with us and is absolutely amazing, he has such a a great perspective!!! He is even finding creative ways to introduce us to his friends like the other day he and his friend Noelia made us an authentic Catalán dinner. It was AMAZING! We then had a really good talk about family history work and that families can be together forever something really helpful for Joan Pau because his mom passed away from cancer several years ago. Then on Sunday, we sustained him in sacrament meeting to receive the Aaronic priesthood. I don't know what came over me but I turned around, saw him standing there with a white shirt and tie for the first time, faced forward again, and then his whole journey flashed through my mind and I just bawled!!!! I couldn't believe it! I never cry and I just bawled right there in sacrament meeting. I am turning into such a baby. President Pace was just looking at me with tears streaming down his face from the stand. It's been a beautiful journey with Joan Pau, if I have to end I'm glad I'm ending here.

I'm as sad and as happy as can be all at the same time.